Handclapping Rhymes
Apparently I learned rather … different lyrics for the endings of “I went to a Chinese restaurant” and “Miss Suzy.”
I Went to a Chinese Restaurant
I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread,
I put it in a paper bag and this is what it said said said.
My name is Kai I. Picolai, Picolai Kai I.
Jumbo whiskey *wallah-wallah whiskey*
Chinese dancers are so funny, this is how they count their money:
Mushka, Mushka: I see my mommy
Mushka, Mushka: I know karate
Mushka, Mushka: I gotta go potty
Mushka, Mushka: FREEZE.
Miss Suzy
Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell *ding ding*
Miss Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to
hell-o operator, please give me number nine,
and if you disconnect me, I’ll chop off your
be-hind the refrigerator, there sat a piece of glass,
Miss Suzy sat upon it, and broke her little
as-k me no more questions, tell me no more lies,
the boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their
flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park,
Miss Suzy and her boyfriend are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, dark dark dark.
Dark is like a movie, movie’s like a show.
Show is like a TV, and that is all I
know I know my ma, I know I know my pa.
I know I know my sister wears a forty acre bra.
My pa gave me a nickel, my ma gave me a dime.
My sister had a boyfriend, whose name was Frankenstein.
He made me wash the dishes, he made me clean the floor,
he made me wash his underwear until I kicked him out the door!
He flew all over London, he all over France,
he landed in Hawai’i where he learned the hula dance!
I’m a Nut
I’m a nut. In a hut.
I stole an apple from a tree, so whatcha gonna do—kick my butt?
I’m craaaazy, I’m cuuuurious, and I’m COOL.
Shame
Shame, shame, shame.
I don’t wanna go to Mexico no more, more, more.
There’s a big fat lady at the door, door, door.
She’ll hang me by my collar, and make me pay a dollar,
I don’t want to go to Mexico no more, more, more.
SHAME.
Down by the Banks
Down by the banks of the Hanky Panky
where the bullfrog jumps from bank to bank-y
with an eels, eyes, opus, oops,
bullfrog jumps and lands. on. YOU.
